Burton's offbeat montages are amusing, but the story's slow start and overblown conclusion make Dark Shadows half a good movie.. Handsome, vaguely true to the old soap opera, and inert.. "Dark Shadows" opens promisingly, downshifts after 30 minutes, and sputters into a meandering, momentum-free mess.. At once a brash, strutting pop culture pastiche and gloomy exercise in self-cannibalizing nostalgia, "Dark Shadows" is depressing on myriad levels.. How bad is "Dark Shadows"? It makes you long for...
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